Updated: Jul 29
July 28, 2020
I wrote this post in April of 2019, the same month my marriage of 16 years abruptly came to an end. Through the next year I began to create a space for myself. Not just a new home and a new career but a space within myself - - where I fully loved me. And as I began to cultivate that space I was able to gradually let go of the anger and the pain. Going Home, creating that loving space for yourself isn’t easy when you are hurting and I know some of you are but I encourage you to Go Home anyway! There is healing for you there! You are Loved.
When I was about 13, I became obsessed with quiet, small spaces, spaces only big enough for me, my books, my journal, a couple of pillows and a candle or two if my Mom didn’t make a big deal.
I always felt so amazing in this space, so free, like I could be anything I wanted to be, I felt like I could be the many things I wanted to be for that matter! Fear of what, why and who didn’t exist in this space. I called it Going Home.
I continued my interest in small spaces into adulthood, every where I lived from the dorm to apartments, to my own home, I’ve somehow carved out a quiet, sacred place for myself. In fact I’m sitting in my quiet place right now. I'm very adament with my family about the importance of my quiet space...needless to say my kids are still learning, LOL!
Somewhere between 15 and 19 I realized that Going Home wasn't just a physical place nor is it a quaintly decorated space. I learned through a few bumpy roads that I am the sacred space and at any time, anywhere I can go home. Going Home is the ability to tap into the truest part of you, it’s being able to see who you REALLY are in any situation.
"Going Home is choosing to see all of the beauty that God has placed within you."
Somewhere between 32 and 35 I realized that Going Home is a life long journey. It's everyone's journey really if you think about:
1. To see ourselves as God see us.
2. To love ourselves through all of our mistakes and mishaps just as God does.
"Posessing that type of power is what moves mountains, changes narratives and dispels hate - - -heals brokenness from the inside out, it opens one's eyes to truly see beauty in everyone including themselves."
Everyday we inch a little closer to Home or a little further away from it. Your choice. Some days I take 10 steps forward and then 5 steps backwards. The beauty of choosing to see is that I am still so thankful for the 5 steps I gained, choosing to see is soaking up the grace of a new day, holding your head high and pursuing every dream and vision that has been placed inside of you. You were created for more, Home is where you access the More!
When you create a home within yourself, for yourself, you create a solidarity that NO ONE can take from you. When you create a Home within yourself - - you access an understanding of God that does not change based on the shifting and ups and downs of life. Creating this Home creates a level of faith in you that is unmoveable.
"You are my hiding place." Psalm 32
So, I’m sharing a recent Going Home moment with you. A medication I was prescribed, took some of my hair out, actually a lot of my hair out - - but choosing to see meant that I was not going to feel defeated about the medication or my hair, it meant that I wasn't going to be bound by my perception of what makes me beautiful...soooooo I cut it off! I decided to cut my hair because it felt right. And I love it! It feels like Home!!
Coco Chanel famously said, “A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life." She wasn’t kidding, I feel an amazing shift!! I feel closer to Home!
If you see me still playing in my wigs, don't judge me, just let me live my best life with a laid frontal! I'm really loving the versatility this cut gives me!
If you want to read more about Healing please check out the blogs in The Her Stories, Living and Wellness!
COMING SOON: Blog- Creating Your OWN Space. DIY
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